My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
