its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
youre lurking in front of me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
