i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
