This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i love accidental penises.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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