they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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