is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
