ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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