Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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