is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
