I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
