IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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