how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The adults are the big ones right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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