I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
