Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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