i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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