Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just tell him i said nine months
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The feeling are messing with the penis
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
