suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
