Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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