Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
