please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
