Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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