i don't like sucking hair
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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