1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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