My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
