We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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