Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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