I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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