it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
