She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
