I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
