you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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