Everything about him screamed your future.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
