Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
there is puke in my bra ... again
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
