i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
