i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
