Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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