yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
