Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
