just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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