you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
