we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
