you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
