apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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