How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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