I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
