Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize