we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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