just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
