my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
