too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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