I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
