Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
