so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
