Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
