actually, I'm a sock model
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
