I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
