well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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