She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
