Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
