she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
