Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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