did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
