it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
