I'm eating all of the evidence.
false alarm. still invincible.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
